What is the point of living?
This thought plagued me for years, tarnishing many pleasurable moments I had by making me feel that at the end of the day, they were all pointless.
And yes I believed in God. Still do. But trying to understand the meaning of life, I thought, was a lot more than just believing it but also experiencing it.
I won’t lie, my life seemed to go into a stand still as this thought turned every desire and passion I had into ashes. The only desire I had was to find meaning so that I could be able to function as a human being and enjoy life again.
So I decided that I wanted to create an appointment with meaning… with God, and I envisioned that once I had it, it would rock my life to the very core. Yes, maybe it sounds naïve because where was I going to find God? How was I going to find Him? Who is He in the first place?
I searched for Him nevertheless but He was nowhere to be found. At least that is what I thought.
How then was I going to keep on living if life itself felt meaningless and dry?
I sought pleasures, food, beauty, things… However, it did not feel the emptiness I felt.
Seeing this, I humbled myself to the advice of others. Out of all the advice, I found that there was one thing that actually helped. It was ‘learn to live life not from outside in but inside out’.
I’ve heard people say that we experience reality according to how our brain is wired. And I’d found that I needed to rewire my brain in order to interpret reality from a positive and more fulfilling perspective.
How did I do that?
I think that as human beings we naturally meditate. But for some reason we tend to easily meditate on the negatives in our lives. In my case, I was constantly thinking about how life lacked meaning. Realizing this, I decided to write quotes and bible verses that talked about the beauty and the wonders of life and being satisfied. After writing them I thought about it (meditated on it) day by day, month by month to the point I slowly began seeing life as beautiful.
When I felt the ‘Dissatisfied Thought’ threatening to take over my thoughts I would deliberately counter that thought with a thought from a verse like “My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich of foods’ Psalm 63:5
It took time. A lot of time because I was so used to wallowing in those dark thoughts it was automatic to think them without realizing it.
But it did help because, first of all, it made me more aware of what I was thinking. As a result, it was much easier to detect the bad thoughts.
I also saw that the more I countered the negative thoughts with the positive thoughts, the more my brain begun to automatically focus on the good rather than on the bad.
Where am I now?
Not perfect at all and sometimes I let the dissatisfied thought creep in.
But I see life differently. I see that there is beauty in life.
I see that there is Beauty in life
And guess what?!
I encountered God
As I focused more on the inside I found that that was where He was all along. The more I saw the goodness in my life, the more I realized that He had always been there guiding me, protecting me and loving me.
So yeah that’s all
I would love to hear from you. Please tell me what you think🙂.